I want to thank all of you who have taken the time to listen to Brobriety and to reach out to tell me how much you enjoyed what we were doing. It truly meant the world to me to be able to be open and honest about sobriety, mental health, and vulnerability. As of this week I will not be continuing with that project and I wish Derek all the best in whatever path he chooses to take it going forward. We may not have been the biggest or best podcast in the world, but I will miss chatting with folks who are making a difference and helping others.
It’s on that last point that I’d like to focus, making a difference and helping others. If you choose to put yourself, your “online persona” out into the world as someone who is a positive force for change. As someone who supports men trying to break the shackles of toxic masculinity. As someone who is there to lift people up and support them through the excruciating journey of sobriety, then you need to own it. You need to be that person in every aspect of your life. Honestly, it’s something I struggle with daily, but I’m learning.
January 2nd 2021 was my 5 year sober anniversary. I felt a wave of love as people fell over themselves to congratulate me. 5 years is no joke, but it’s just the beginning. The things I’ve learned since my 4 year anniversary have been overwhelming, humbling, and eclipse the sum of everything I’d learned in my first 4 sober years.
There are a few things that helped me grow this year but one thing in particular stands out. Therapy. Therapy has opened my eyes to the shocking amount of denial I was still living in. Therapy allowed me to be honest with another human being in a way I’d never experienced before, and in turn I was honest with myself for the first time in my life. The stigma around men needing emotional and mental health support is very real, but it’s changing, slowly. Men being open and vulnerable should be normal.
What shouldn’t be normal is the casual misogyny I see every day. Men, your micro aggressions, your little jokes, your outright gaslighting to save face when you fuck up? That’s unacceptable, full stop. I’m not immune to it. I have, and will, make mistakes, but I own it, and I’m sure as hell not going to let it slide by when I see it from people I know. Own your missteps. Don’t run and hide. Surround yourself with people who hold you accountable. Apologize. MEAN IT.
The Sobriety lane of social media is a strange place. It’s full of accounts that seem to exist to repost what little original thought and content is actually being produced. It’s full of overwhelming positivity, which is great and very needed, but it’s not an accurate look at what sobriety is. That’s something I want to look at more in the future
So what’s next? I don’t know yet. I have some ideas and I really want to continue the work I was doing with the podcast. The messages I’ve received have been life changing, and I don’t use that phrase lightly. I’m going to focus on what’s important for a little bit before I jump into any new projects. Spend time with my family. Pet my dogs. Drink coffee.
Be well, I’ll see you all very soon.
Scott.
